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Using the "You" Approach

This is the single most important concept in business communications. 

I'll say it again:  This is the single most important thing you need to learn in business communications.

Which sentence works best?

• I am extremely pleased to inform you that you have received a promotion.  (The emphasis is on me, the speaker or writer of the sentence.)
• It gives me great pleasure to make this announcement about an employee who I have known for many years.  It has been my distinct pleasure to supervise and train Miss Sarah Smith who I am happy to announce has been awarded a promotion.  (Who really cares about my pleasure?  Why is it important that I am the supervisor?  Focus on the good news and on Sarah!)
• Congratulations on your promotion, Sarah!  (The subject of the sentence is "you" understood.  The message is clear, quick, and positive.) 

When using the "you" approach, though, be careful not to blame the reader or to make him/her uncomfortable.  Even if you are sure the error made was not your fault, it's better to assume personal responsibility than to imply that the reader made the mistake. 

For example:

• Applications for credit cards must meet the following criteria:
  • The application form must be signed and dated by the applicant.
  • The application form must be complete including all required data.
  • The application may be submitted in person at the credit department or online.

  Once your completed application has been received, you may expect to receive your valid credit card in the mail within 3-5 business days. 

  Versus:

• The reason your application was not processed was because you didn't follow the instructions that are clearly marked at the top of the form.  You didn't sign and date the application and left out several important data points that we need to process your application.  (This version blames the reader for what he/she did wrong and doesn't really encourage the reader to fix the problems.)

The best way to practice this skill to eliminate the use of "I" or "we" or "our company" (or the company name or any personal pronoun reference) in all your business writing.  While this is extreme, it will help you learn the process.  Once you are more comfortable writing for the reader, you will be able to re-introduce the use of I and we in an appropriate manner. 

Try it!  It's worth the effort!  :-)

©Division of Business, Economics & Mathematics, WVUP, 2011.  Updated 06/05/2012 .  Division Chair:  Steve.Morgan@mail.wvu.edu ;Business Division Office:  Lauriel.Edwards@mail.wvu.edu
Web Page Contact:  pam.braden@mail.wvu.edu West Virginia University at Parkersburg